What Do Women Not Want?

So much attention has been paid to discovering what women want, that what women DO NOT want has been overlooked. And indeed this may be a much more promising inquiry – perhaps what women want is someone who does not repel them and is attracted to them and nearby and not afraid to show it – along with whatever it is that causes a good match (attraction, compatibility and rapport seem key, although these can develop over time).

The more people want you, the more dealbreakers you will have, generally speaking. Dealbreakers are more important in decision making than dealmakers, and more important for long-term relationships and for women. Here’s a quote:

…having kids, living too far away, talks too much, and a low sex drive were dealbreakers more for men than women, which may reflect men’s greater concerns about resource investment in partners (and their families) and men’s somewhat higher interest in casual sex. In contrast, women (vs. men) were more likely to report lacking self-confidence, being too lazy, being too needy, and engaging too often in television/playing video games as dealbreakers, consistent with prior work showing that women desire mates who are dominant, ambitious, and status-driven (Bryan et al., 2011). In addition, although Study 1 participants rated bad in bed as a dealbreaker for short-term—but not long-term— relationships, nearly half of Study 2 participants identified bad sex as a long-term relationship dealbreaker. Moreover, women were more likely than men to report bad sex as a dealbreaker

Here’s the graph:

2015-11-27 04_45_58-http___www.mysmu.edu_faculty_normanli_JonasonGarciaWebsterLiFisher2015.pdf

So there you have it. Kill your deal-breakers or weep.



Relationship Dealbreakers: Traits People Avoid in Potential Mates at http://www.mysmu.edu/faculty/normanli/JonasonGarciaWebsterLiFisher2015.pdf

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