What is a Good Man? What are his Beliefs?

  • Not “a man who subverts his own will and desires to get people to like him. One of the points Glover makes is that behavior itself is not necessarily Nice Guy behavior or attractive behavior, but it’s the motivation behind it.” -Mark Manson
  • Has compassion for oneself and others – also not motivated by a desire to be liked (socially desirable responding). Not only is being motivated by popularity weak, it’s also unsuccessful.
  • “It wasn’t meant to be.” When I work as hard as I can to get something, and it doesn’t work out – then this is the best message. Particularly useful for relationships.
  • “I’m okay.” “This will all blow over.” Paradoxically, accepting ourselves as we are is the best way to get beyond that. Many of the “major problems” we go through are simple part of the natural ebb and flow of life. Have self-compassion for those problems, and keep moving.
  • He has strong self-respect and self-esteem. Aristotle considered this a pre-requisite for a good life and a moral one. If one does not respect and esteem oneself, then one is not concerned about the consequences his actions will have on his character or even his health. What beliefs support self-respect?
    • I’m okay despite whatever perceived fatal flaw I have.
  • Playful Self-Confidence. Women like high self-confidence, and its fun and attractive to do, but only if there’s a sense of humor about it, a playfulness – otherwise you’re just a dick, and that gets old quick. It’s not as fun to do either. But pretending like you know everything, pretending like every question is a cute attempt to challenge you is funny and fun, and attractive.
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